methlabrador:

POPULAR BRAND “TOYS R US” CHANGES NAME TO “TOYS R U” AND FINALLY “WE R ALL PLAYTHINGS IN THE EYES OF GOD”

(via actinoutloud)

gothamshitty:

kushdrinker:

sweet dreams are made of cheese

who am i to diss a brie

(via teaofrage)

actinoutloud:

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jules and i say goodnight

iblamemanagement:

lightofmeridian:

MY MOM BROUGHT THIS FUCKIGN CARROT HOME FROM THE FARMERS MARKET ADN IM FUGCKIN SOOBBING I NCA NT

hey big boy you come here often

(via the-sociopaths-have-10ant)

Tor and I discuss living in the land of the FREE:

  • Me: SMELL THE FREEDOM
  • Tor: EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND TASTE THE FREEDOM
  • Me: SOMETIMES I TAKE A SHOWER AND BATHE IN THE FREEDOM
  • Tor: OCCASIONALLY I SPILL COFFEE ON MYSELF AND FEEL THE FREEDOM
  • Me: SOMETIMES I ACCIDENTLY SWALLOW MY GUM AND INGEST THE FREEDOM
  • Tor: (Makes beautiful comment about how she read gum as cum) SWALLOW THE FREEDOM and/or spit the freedom, whichever your preference may be
  • Me: TAKE THE FREEDOM ALL THE WAY INTO THE BACK OF YOUR THROAT YEAH YOU LIKE THAT DON'T YOU
  • Tor: FREEDOM PORN AW YEAH, I CAN FEEL THE FREEDOM INSIDE ME IT'S SO HUGE
  • Me: OH BILLY I'M WEARING NOTHING BUT AN AMERICAN FLAG THAT'S AGAINST THE LAW YOU SLUT I DID IT OUT OF LOVE FOR YOU AND MY COUNTRY WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO BREAK UP NO BILLY DON'T LEAVE ME I ALWAYS FELT THE FREEST IN YOUR ARMS

A compilation of freedom porn for jules from back when she was oftortoises gooood times

actinoutloud:

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soselfimportant:

if my skype conversations happened irl

(via hambagger)

skatewytch:

TURTLEWARMER

(Source: lypeach, via hamuburger)